No One Heals Me Like You
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: Morgan and Garcia. Penelope asks Derek to stay the night. Can one night of comfort be enough for either of them?
1. Chapter 1

Note- **The title of this fic comes from the Sheryl Crow song "I Shall Believe". The story takes place during season five episode nine titled "100."**

**No One Heals Me Like You**

**Chapter One**

**November 2009**

He had to see her. Touch her. Hold her. Know she was still alive.

Derek didn't know what state he would find Penelope in when he went to her office after coming back from Hotch's house, where Haley's body lay dead on their bedroom floor. He didn't know if Penelope would be shut down or if she would be sobbing uncontrollably.

He felt numb- it was taking all his strength to just put one foot in front of another- until the moment he stepped into her office and spotted her. Then the floodgates opened and his pain burst free, blurring his vision and making his chest ache.

She lay on the couch in her office. Curled up in a ball. Her heels kicked off. A blanket thrown over her. Though he couldn't hear her crying now it had been hours since Haley died. When Penelope heard the bullet being fired into their friend she had cried then and probably for a long time after.

He had wanted to go to her right away but Hotch needed him. Now that Derek was here though he didn't plan to leave Penelope till he knew she was pulled together enough to make it through the night without crying herself to sleep. Of course there would be more tears for all of them but Derek hated thinking about his baby girl crying all alone at her apartment or in the arms of another man.

"Sweetheart," he whispered.

She reacted to the sound of his voice by sitting up. He walked closer to her and sunk to his knees in front of her couch. Her big brown eyes were filled with pain and loss. Disbelief and grief. He cupped her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers.

Penelope's voice rattled with emotion and tears when she whimpered "She's gone."

"I know," he whispered back before pulling her into a tight hug.

For a long minute they just held each other. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and she clung tight to him, with her mouth brushing his ear. "Derek, please, stay with me tonight. I can't be alone right now."

He gently let go of her and looked in her eyes. "Why would you be alone? What about Lynch?"

Fresh pain flared into her eyes and she cried "I don't need Kevin right now! I need you! Please…..I need to know where you are tonight. To know you're safe. I don't want to talk about anything or try to make sense out of this because there is no sense to what happened today, to the pain Hotch is in, and to how empty I feel right this second. All I know is if you're with me tonight I won't have to worry about you too and I need that. I need to know you're really still alive. Please."

In a soothing tone he told her "Sure, baby, I'll stay with you."

Her eyes fell and she studied her hands. They were shaking.

Derek lifted her chin with one finger. "Hey…..I'm right here and nothing will take me away from you as long as you need me close by."

She motioned for him to sit on the couch. Once he did she hugged him again and held on for a long time. He stroked her hair and murmured in her ear "I'm here. I have you. I won't let go, baby girl. Shhhh. The worse is behind us now, I promise….I promise you that I won't let you go ever again."

_I won't let you go ever again_, repeated in his brain over and over while he held her. He just couldn't imagine letting another day go by where he lived his life not being able to kiss and caress this woman that he loved.

This needed to be the day when they turned a corner. The year where they got it all together. The time when they stopped avoiding falling into each other's loving arms. On days like these he was reminded, more than ever, that the world didn't make sense unless he was standing next to her or had her voice in his ear.

Derek didn't want to use Haley's death to force the issue of Penelope dumping Lynch but he wanted this to somehow bring them together. For the pain to be shared between them and their love to heal all the broken places in both of them.

This time he needed their love to be stronger than it ever was before.

_(This year's love had better last._

_-_

_Heaven knows,_

_its high time._

_-_

_I've been waiting on my own too long._

_-_

_But when you hold me like you do_

_feels so right….oh now._

_-_

_Start to forget_

_how my heart gets torn_

_when that hurt gets thrown._

_-_

_Feeling like I can't go on._

_-_

_Turning circles_

_when time again._

_cuts like a knife... oh, now._

_-_

_If you love me_

_got to know for sure) _(David Gray's This Year Love)

XXXXXXXXXX

Derek followed Penelope to her apartment. They met in the courtyard. In his eyes she saw a brief flash of pain as his eyes looked over her shoulder to the place where she once lay bleeding to near death.

He said "Its cold out here, baby. Lets get you inside, okay?"

She nodded. Once they were at her door she used her key to get it opened, walked inside and disabled the security alarm. Derek slowly walked in and got off his coat while Penelope locked the door and did the alarm again.

He looked all around the room and she saw pure pain and grief in his eyes.

Barely able to breath, or see for all the tears in her eyes, she took his hand and led him to the bedroom. "I don't know about you but I have such a migraine right now."

His hands went to her shoulders and he rubbed them for a minute. He helped her out of her coat. They both kicked off their shoes.

"Lay down and rest, sweetheart."

"Derek?"

He nodded, knowing she was asking him to lay with her. They got in the bed and she lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling. Fresh sobs escaped her mouth. She rolled away from Derek. He gently turned her back toward him and brought her face against his chest.

They stayed that way till they fell asleep.

(_This year's love had better last._

_This year's love had better last._

_-_

_Cause who's to worry_

_if our hearts_

_get torn_

_when that hurt gets thrown?_

_-_

_Don't you know this life goes on?)_


	2. Chapter 2

**No One Heals Me Like You**

**Chapter Two**

**November 2009**

Derek groaned when a cell phone ringing incessantly woke him up a few hours later, around seven pm. Penelope lay clinging to him, still asleep. He gently rolled her away and went to search for the phone. He got it out of her purse and looked at the screen. _Kevin Bear _is what it said. Derek shook his head at the nickname and took it back to the bedroom.

Before he could even get there he heard Penelope whimper in her sleep and whip awake "Morgan?"

She looked all around.

He hurried back through the beads that separated the rooms.

"I'm right here." He sat on the bed. Reaching out he brushed her hair out of her eyes. Then he passed her the phone. "Lynch keeps calling."

"Oh. Okay. I better call him back before he gets worried and comes over. I can't deal with seeing anyone tonight."

Derek stood up. "You hungry?"

"I don't think I can eat anything."

"The next few days are going to feel endless. We've got to take care of ourselves and each other, baby girl. I'm going to go out and get some take-out soup from the diner and some rolls. And pick up a quart of ice cream." Comfort food. "Will you be okay for half an hour?"

She looked into his eyes for a long moment. "Give me five minutes and I'll go with you, okay?"

He nodded and left the room, going into the bathroom. He knew just how she felt. Even the five minutes she needed alone to talk to her boyfriend would be painful to get through. Penelope and Derek needed to be right next to each other as much as possible right now because otherwise it would feel like the world that was caving in around them would consume them.

Their strength was in being together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Almost two hours later they were back on her couch. They had went to get the food, picked up Clooney and some clothes for Derek, then rented a few movies, even though they both knew their minds wouldn't be able to focus on the plot.

After they got done eating Penelope took the empty containers and dishes to the kitchen. Derek stood up to help her and she waved him off. "I've got it, my love."

When she came back into the room his eyes moved from looking all around at it, and she could tell he was once again lost in memories. He asked "Why do you stay here, baby? I would have thought you'd move out and start fresh."

"Something horrible happened here but some amazing things happened too. This is my home. I don't see him when I'm here….I see all the good things. Like when JJ helped me paint it purple in here and when Henry took his first steps after pulling himself up on that coffee table right there and when you stayed here with me and I knew you'd always be my best friend. This apartment isn't haunted for me. I like it here."

Hearing that seemed to relieve Derek. He patted the spot next to him on the couch and put his arm over the back of it. "I saved you a spot."

Not ashamed to show him just how much she needed him, right now nothing else mattered but being held by him and easing the pain, Penelope went over and sat down. She wrapped one arm around his mid-section and rested her head on his chest. "Thank you for coming over. You're the only one I want when life sucks this bad."

"You know I'd do anything to stop you from suffering or getting hurt ever again…but it don't work that way. All I can say is I'm here for you, no matter what happens."

For a few minutes they held each other while he stroked her hair. She pulled back a little and looked up into his eyes. The moment was fraught with emotion. Penelope placed a kiss on Derek's cheek.

She whispered "How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing hero be my best friend?"

He gave her a small grin. "Baby, I'm no prize."

A sad smile curved her lips. "Says who? Cause from where I'm sitting it feels like I hit the jackpot."

"Yeah, well, as long as you think so."

"I more than think so. I know so. I know you're the man who will always stick by me and always make the pain less, never more. I know I need you more than anyone else. I know that everything that happened in my life before the day I met you happened to let me meet my noir hero....I know my life would suck if I ever lost you from it...and, most of all and this is the really good part, I know you love me just as much as I love you and that's forever."

His voice was deep and husky when he asked "Oh, yeah, Garcia? You just figure all that out?"

"Your hotness had me in a daze till just this moment. I'm finally starting to think straight again."

"You're such a silly girl."

Their tender moment turned teary for her at those words, as the memories of him telling her that he loved her for the first time struck her just then. She had thought, for just a moment, that maybe they would get together after that but then she went to sleep and when she woke up the world was falling apart around her again and she had convinced herself that Derek didn't mean it that way.

Now she buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried for them and for Hotch and Haley, and all their friends that were suffering, and for little Jack, who had lost his mother. She sobbed and sobbed while Derek cried too.

_(Come to me now_

_and lay your hands over me._

_-_

_Even if its a lie_

_say it will be all right_

_and I shall believe_

_-_

_I'm broken in two_

_and I know that you're on to me_

_that I only come home_

_when I'm so alone._

_-_

_But I do believe._

_-_

_That not everything is _

_going to be the way you think it ought to be._

_-_

_Seems every time I try to make it right_

_it all comes down on me._

_-_

_Please say honestly _

_you won't give up on me_

_and I shall believe_

_-_

_I shall believe) _(Sheryl Crow)

Finally he carried her to the bedroom and he told her "Change into something more comfortable, baby girl. Time for this day to be over for us."

"Finally."

"Yeah, finally."

She went into the bathroom to change and he changed right there, yanking on sweats and an FBI t-shirt. She put on her pajama pants and a sweat shirt. He pulled back her comforter and guided her into bed.

Derek crouched next to the bed and said "I will get you through this. I swear that to you."

"Handsome, we'll get each other through this together….Are you going to stay in here with me?"

"You want me to?"

She moved back on the bed and he took that to mean yes. He got in bed with her and she moved straight into his arms. Her heart was full of pain and her mind was swimming with memories of that day and memories of the last two painful and scary years. Penelope hadn't woken up this morning thinking there was any way she could get Derek this close to her. She woke up still pissed off about Tamara Barnes, like she had been for a month.

Worried and sick over that woman. A sixth sense telling her that Derek could be lost to her forever if she didn't do something to stop what was developing between them. That Tamara would bring Derek nothing but pain and Penelope nothing but grief.

Now Tamara was a distant thought because she didn't truly matter when it came to their world. She had no place in their lives. Truth be told either did Kevin.

What mattered was their family and, even if it hurt the outsiders, this was a time when Penelope planned to be as selfish as she could and cling to her family as hard as they would let her. Not caring about the hurt feelings or wounded pride of others.

She needed her family now and she needed Derek the most. As long as he felt the same they were going to just keep holding on till the sun shone again in their dark, dark part of the world. If anyone could get her through this she knew it would be him. Because he was the strongest person she knew and he was the one who made her smile and laugh the most.

He was also the first man she ever fell in love with and the only one she couldn't stop loving or give up. The only one she couldn't walk away from. The only one she could forgive anything. The only one who she needed tonight or any night.

She clung to him and prayed that they could make it through the heartbreak and get to a good place again. It seemed far off but she believed in Derek. He wouldn't let her down. All she had to do was give him her trust and now she was ready to do that with all she had. No more walls and no more worries. She would just hold him and not let go.

_(Open the door _

_and show me your face tonight_

_-_

_I know its true._

_No one heals me like you_

_and you hold the key._

_-_

_Never again will I turn away from you._

_-_

_I'm so heavy tonight_

_but you're love is all right_

_and I do believe_

_-_

_that not everything is gonna be_

_the way it ought to be._

_Every time I try to make it right_

_it all comes down on me._

_-_

_Please say honestly you won't _

_give up on me _

_and I shall believe._

_I shall believe)_


	3. Chapter 3

**No One Heals Me Like You**

**Chapter Three**

**November 2009**

Penelope woke up to see Derek sitting with his back to her and a cell to his ear. He whispered "She's sleeping. Are you okay?.....Yeah, all right.....Take care of yourself, JJ."

She sat up and wrapped her arms around him from behind. She lay her head against his back. "All night long I heard Haley crying and begging Hotch to tell Jack that love is the most important thing,"

Derek's voice was thick with pain when he said "Baby girl."

His hand came up and gripped hers, as it rested against his chest. Penelope pressed a kiss against his shirt and then got out of the bed. She grabbed some clothes quickly and headed for the bathroom to shower.

When she came out she found Derek in the kitchen drinking coffee. She poured herself a cup. "How did JJ sound?" Penelope asked, aware her own voice was scratchy from crying.

"Shaken still. Worried about Hotch."

Penelope's eyes watered again. "How is he going to survive this, sweetness?"

Derek shook his head, sadly. "He won't give up. Jack will keep him from doing that."

"And Hotch promised her."

"Yeah."

Derek glanced away, nearly overcome with emotion, and Penelope could tell he was remembering listening to Haley's last words. Penelope sat down her coffee mug and walked over to Derek. He was leaning against the counter. She positioned herself so that one of her legs was between his and then wrapped her arms around his waist.

They held each other for a long minute.

Trying to cheer them up some Penelope said "I'm going show you a good morning, Hot Stuff. Why don't you get dressed and then we'll get Clooney and drive out to the beach? We can take him for a long walk and get some lunch before we come back here for a night of movies and popcorn. I don't hardly ever get quality time with my gorgeous best friend and today I just wanna spend some time with you, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan, baby girl. I'm all in."

She gave him a teary smile. "I'm all in too."

XXXXXXXXXX

By the time they got done watching movies that night Penelope was in tears again but this time for a different reason. She was crying over the end of The Lake House, with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves.

Derek smirked as the credits rolled. "You do know that is so unrealistic, right?"

"Don't care. That's not the point."

"It barely makes sense at all, baby."

"And yet its still romantic as all get out."

Derek chuckled and got up to get her some Kleenex. After he gave it to her he stretched. "I'm gonna grab a shower, if that's okay."

"Sure." She reached out her hand and he took it, pulling her to her feet. "Give me five minutes in there first."

After she went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and washed her face, Penelope came out "All yours, my love. I'll be waiting in bed."

Derek gave her a probing look from across the room and answered "That's got to be the sexiest thing you ever said to me, Garcia."

She laughed and walked into the bedroom area. "Your memory must be failing then, Hot Stuff, cause I've said things that nearly made you lose consciousness before."

He chuckled, while walking into the room and opening up his overnight bag. He got out some clothes and toiletries. When Derek took a shower Penelope called Kevin to check in again. She told him that the funeral would be in three more days but that she didn't need him to go with her.

After that she flipped on the TV and watched the late show till Derek came back in the room. Her mind started to question just what she was doing by having Derek continue to stay at her place. Was she really trying to change the nature of their relationship? Was it even fair to bring that up right now?

All she knew was nothing felt right except having him there.

XXXXXXXX

Derek noticed that Penelope was sitting up on her bed with wide nervous eyes as she pretended to watch TV. She seemed lost in thought though and he wouldn't be surprised if she had no idea what was on the screen.

He sat on the edge of the bed and faced her. "What's going through that hard head of yours?"

"You agreed to stay with me for one night. This makes two. If you need to get home then I get it."

"The only thing I need to do is get through this with my girl by my side. Baby, I'm just as torn up as you are, you can tell that, right? Being here is helping me as much as it helps you. Believe that."

"Okay. Well you don't have to sleep in here. Its probably more fair to your situation for you to sleep on the couch."

His jaw tensed. "What's my situation?"

She gave him a look and he knew just what it meant. Derek sighed, in frustration, and looked away.

Penelope answered "I know you. I know you went ahead with dating Tamara."

"Baby, I barely ever see that woman. She needed a friend and yeah she wanted more but I wasn't sure I could give her more. Don't assume you know what I do when I'm away from you."

She rubbed her hand along his arm. "The last thing I want to do is fight with you right now. My couch is yours for as long as you want it."

He turned his head and looked deep into her eyes. "That's the best offer I've had in years."

She gave him a small smile. "I could go you one better if you want."

His lips crooked into a tiny grin. "Tell me what _you_ want, Garcia."

"Stay in here with me again tonight."

Derek crawled into the bed, under the comforter, and pulled her tight against his side. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Just try and get rid of me, hard head. I'm not about to walk out on my girl."

She smiled and they spent a while talking about trivial things, like the guests who were on the late night show and the movie they had watched earlier, until finally their words died out and a long comfortable silence filled the room.

Derek drifted off to sleep holding Penelope and feeling a hell of a lot better than he would have if he was home alone that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**No One Heals Me Like You**

**Chapter Four**

**November 2009**

The funeral was scheduled for three days away, the day after Thanksgiving. Penelope and Derek had just got done eating breakfast when Emily called to let Penelope know.

Penelope told her "I'll tell JJ and Derek. Save you some calls. You okay, sweetie? Anything I can do for you today?....Just don't try and tough this out alone, okay? .....Its hard for you too. Its hard for all of us. Don't minimize your own pain just because someone else's is more....JJ wants everyone over for Thanksgiving and you're gonna be there. Bring booze. I have a feeling we'll need it....Okay, see you then."

Penelope hung up and told Derek, who was sitting on the other side of the kitchen table, "The funeral is Friday."

He nodded. "Anything we can do for Hotch?"

"Emily said Rossi is staying with him. Jessica is coming by everyday too- for Jack. And Em is there as much as Hotch will let her be. I'm sure it tears her up to have to leave him when he's like this. God, baby, this is a living nightmare...our poor family is in hell right now. How are we going to get through this?"

Derek's hand covered hers. "We're gonna take it an hour at a time, girl."

Just then her cell rang again. She looked at the screen and tensed before she answered "Hey.....Thank you for checking in. I'm okay....No, I don't need anything, Kevin. Just space to process and grieve.....I will....Bye."

After she hung up Derek said "Go see him if you need to."

"I told you that I don't need him right now. I need you. Its as simple and as complicated as that. After the funeral I'll try and get my head together enough to sit down with him but, to tell you the truth, I can't stay with Kevin. We've been fighting for a straight month now and its been bad."

Derek tensed and moved back in his seat. "Why didn't you say anything? I can't stand it when I hear about your life from other people or long after the fact. Damn it, girl, what makes you push me out?"

"You want to know why Kevin and I were going at it like cats and dogs? Because I was pissed off about you and Tamara. I don't know what it is, Derek, but she's different than any other woman you ever told me about and it was making me crazy to think about you getting involved with her. I was a total bitch to Kevin cause I was mad and worried about you."

"You need to get honest, okay?"

Her eyes searched his.

Derek went on "You haven't heard about me with any women since you got with Lynch- not until _what you convinced yourself_ was going on with Tamara- and you got jealous."

"Jealous? It was more than just that and you know it. She's a threat to your career and your happiness and our life. You refused to see it cause you wanted her more than you gave a damn about the consequences."

"Whoa, I did not want her as bad you got it in your mind that I did. It wasn't about that. She needed a friend. She needed me. It felt good to be needed like that by someone. You sure hadn't needed me for a long time until this week."

"I always need you, Derek!"

"It doesn't feel like it though. It feels like Lynch gives you everything I wanted to....it feels like you replaced me. And you were afraid I was about to do the same thing to you with Tamara." He paused and let out a calming breath. "Things aren't like they were before....before you were hurt....back then we both were playing games and dating whoever we wanted but since then its different, for me at least, and it will never go back in time to when it was okay for you to be held by anyone but me." He stood up and walked over to the sink, carrying his dishes. "You spent a month torturing yourself with thoughts of me and her. Stop, baby girl, and think about how long I've spent being torn apart over you and Lynch."

She gasped and a long moment passed. "If that's true then you should have said something."

He turned around and leaned on the counter. "I had no right. I messed up when I didn't make a move on you years ago. You got over me and I had to let you go. I missed my chance. But don't think it doesn't hurt me everyday to not be with you. It hurts, Penelope. So I know what you felt when you thought I was going for Tamara....you felt like your life stopped making any sense....I feel like that every damn time I see you smile at Lynch."

Penelope stood up and looked at him. Tears glittered her eyes. "God, we royally screwed this up this time, haven't we? How could we ever make it right now?"

"You giving up?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest. "Never, my love. I need you here with me. If you want to stay....and be my noir hero twenty four hours a day....at least until we have to go back to work and then for as many hours a day as you can spare..." She looked up and into his eyes. "Please do. That's all I ever wanted. No one else can make me feel like you do."

"Tell me, baby girl, how I make you feel."

She grinned at him as her eyes dried up. "You set me on fire just to hear your voice over the phone, Hot Stuff. I sit there and squirm thinking about doing all the things we joke we want to do to each other. Just imagining your touch is hotter for me than being with someone else. Its so much more than just being attracted to you, though. I love everything about you. The things that tick me off and the parts that are so beautiful they amaze me. I pinch myself all the time and wonder if you're real....and why you ever looked twice at me."

"Silly girl, you're everything I need and want. Don't sell yourself short. I wouldn't fall in love with a woman that was anything less than phenomenal...and just in case you're wondering still in that hard head of yours....I've been in love with you since before you were hurt...It took what happened that week to wake me up but I got the truth bashed over my head when we got in that fight....That's why I wanted to take you out that night. To tell you that I was an idiot for not saying something sooner....That I'd cross a room to hit on you.....Look in my eyes, baby girl, and tell me you don't see all the love I got for you?"

She sniffled and nodded. A smile adorned her lips. Her hands rose to hold his face. He bent forward and they shared a very soft and tentative kiss.

Shivers racked her body. She snuggled closer to him as his arms wrapped around her, making her flush to him. He gave her another short kiss. She let her tongue slip out and lick at his lips and then opened her mouth for him. Soon she was moaning as their kisses deepened.

Finally he broke away from her.

Looking into his eyes, that were filled with love and lust, she whispered "Oh my God, do you know how damn sexy you look right now?"

He grinned. "Are you trying to get me to take you on the kitchen table? Because if you keep up that kind of talk it will happen, baby girl."

She giggled and moved back. "Save that one for later, my love."

He smiled and moved close to her. Taking her face in his hands he kissed her forehead and then her nose and her cheeks and then her mouth. "Garcia, this better not be a dream."

"I'm in your dreams?" she teased and then looked down at her pajamas. "Dressed like this? I really thought you had a more wicked imagination, Hot Stuff. How very tame."

He picked her up off her feet and carried her to the living room. Then he put her on the couch, grabbed the remote to put on the TV, lay back and pulled her on top of him. "Hush, woman. You will see just how dirty my mind can get but not today. Today we just relax and enjoy this. I'm not moving from this couch for hours so get comfortable."

She wiggled her body against him and he went hard. His hands went to her hips and his eyes locked on hers. She giggled and started to kiss his neck and jaw. "Mmmm, I'm very comfortable. How about yourself?"

He slapped her ass. She squealed "Morgan!"

"There is more where that came from if you don't behave," he teased.

She gave him one more gentle kiss and then relaxed against him. After a few minutes passed she asked him "Is it wrong that it took this to make us admit what we what?"

"Baby, don't look for a way to feel guilty right now. What happened to Haley....her murder...that's horrible enough all on its own without us adding our own junk to it. Like what if I drove faster and got to her before that happened? What if Foyet never escaped that time with my credentials?"

"Don't do that to yourself."

"You either. There's nothing wrong with us saying we want each other right now. We're not insulting her memory or using her death to get what we want....we're just listening to the last words our friend ever said. Love is the most important thing, baby girl. Whenever I think I can make it through this life without you I always find out how wrong I was.....I can't get through this or anything without my girl. I need you now and if you push me away I'd be somewhere thinking about you, missing you and needing you."

"I need you too," she whispered.

They fell asleep on the couch together as they watched TV. Later they moved to the bed and woke up holding each other. Derek was hard and Penelope pressed against him.

In a sleep filled tone he said "Morning, princess."

"I'll show you a good morning, Hot Stuff," she said and then caught his lips in a kiss. Penelope got out of bed before it went any further, even though she was aching for much more, because she knew it would feel even better to make love to him for the first time once she was broken up with Lynch and if her and Derek had some distance from the heartache weighing them down.

They had each other now and that was enough.

She shot him a heat filled look before she headed to the bathroom. "You in my bed is an image I'll never forget."

"You won't get the chance to forget cause you're gonna see it every day."

"Oh," she said in her sexiest tone "you do know how to make my motor purr. Keep talking that way and I'll never let you out of my bed again."

"Woman, I gotta remind you that I'm the one with the handcuffs? If anybody gets locked to a bed anytime soon its gonna be you."

Her eyes danced with amusement. "You think that would be punishment for me? More like heaven on earth. Sign me up, Hot Stuff."

She headed for the bathroom before he could drag her back into bed, which is what the look in his eye said he wanted to do.


	5. Chapter 5

No One Heals Me Like You

**Chapter Five**

**November 2009**

They both got dressed and took Clooney for a walk. While they were out Penelope used her cell to call JJ. She asked what they could bring for Thanksgiving, which was the next day, and after insisting that yes they did want to help her with the cooking Penelope jotted down a list.

They went shopping and then home to cook desserts.

All during the day they shared kisses and caresses. After they were done cooking Derek said "Okay, I think you've earned yourself a reward, baby girl."

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes, please," she flirted with him as she opened her arms. "And just where will my reward be placed? I have a few suggestions if you're at a loss for where to start."

He chuckled and pulled her into a tender kiss. "You have a absolutely filthy mind but I love it."

"I know you do. That's the one thing I've never doubted. Now tell me what is my reward and just how exhausted will it leave me?"

He grinned. "Your reward is to get out of this apartment for a little while. Lets go get some dinner, baby girl."

She hugged him for a long moment. "But I like having you here all alone where I can take advantage of you if the mood strikes me."

He grinned and pulled back so he could kiss her nose. "You'll just have to put that sex drive of yours in park for a few hours. Get changed. I'm taking you somewhere nice."

She gave him a sweet look. "First date?"

"Not yet but don't let that stop you from copping a feel."

She giggled and headed off to her bedroom to pick out a dress.

While Derek was placing dirty dishes in the sink his cell rang. He looked at the screen and thought about ignoring it but that wouldn't be fair so he answered "Hey," his tone was filled with a renewed pain. He listened to Tamara talk for a minute and then said "Something happened....my boss's wife died...yeah...He's pretty wrecked but Hotch is strong....Listen, I know we need to talk but for the next few days I'm gonna be busy with all this so I'll have to get back to you about when....Thank you for checking in....Take care."

He knew he'd have to sit down and explain to her that their friendship had to end. He would also have to tell her why he kept holding back from moving beyond a friendship with her. He would have to come clean with the woman he had been trying to help with her grieving but also who he had been using to help him try and forget about where Penelope had been spending her nights.

For now though Derek wanted to focus solely on Penelope. She needed him and he needed her. He was amazed that they had admitted to their love for each other. His heart was still hurting over Haley and for Hotch and Jack but at least it wasn't broken anymore. And at least he didn't have to stay up at night thinking his baby girl was in another man's arms.

Warmth spread through Derek as he thought about how right it felt to hold Penelope as they slept for the last few nights. That is what mattered most right this moment. Holding his girl.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Penelope, Derek and Clooney showed up at JJ's home the next afternoon. Penelope put Clooney in the backyard while Derek carried in desserts and put them in JJ's kitchen. He hung around there to talk to Reid.

Meanwhile Penelope went searching for JJ. She found her in the nursery with Henry. Penelope smiled at the cute outfit her godson had on. "Isn't he just cute enough to eat?"

JJ gave her a small and strained smile. Penelope hugged her. "I know, sweetie, its been a lousy few days."

JJ answered back "Will just doesn't get it and we're snipping at each other constantly."

"You have to let him in."

"He barely knew Haley. He can't understand."

"He loves you. That's all that it takes for him to understand. Don't push him just to feel like you're doing something to be as miserable as you're sure you need to be right now. We can't let our survivor's guilt tear us all apart. We need each other."

"Morgan is staying with you?"

"I asked him to and he hasn't left my side since he came to my office right after he left Hotch's place."

"Do you know what you're doing? Getting all close to him again after the way he's hurt you."

JJ had been the one to have the inside scoop on all of Penelope's love and pain over Derek. That had made her want to protect her friend's heart and she rooted for Lynch to heal Penelope. She did it with the best of intentions.

Penelope said "I've hurt him too. More than he will ever admit. And it will take time to truly get past that for both of us but I need him right now and I'll need him tomorrow and the day after and next year. "

"You need to be careful. You were doing good with Lynch until Derek went and crossed the line with that victim's sister and now this happening...to Haley....You and Lynch could end up pushing each other away and for what? Morgan? He never stepped up before you were hurt. I care about him just as much as any of the team but I care about you too and he can really break your heart if you let him."

"I know that all those years I had a crush on him while he played the field wore on me and you saw the hurt that I went through when my feelings got intense for him and he wasn't ready to be more than friends. I get you wanting to protect me now. But, sweetie, he's not the bad guy in this, okay? I walked into everything from the start knowing who he is. He told me he didn't want to settle down and he told me he had trust issues and he couldn't see himself with one woman ever. Its taken a lot for him to get to where he is now. He tried to step up for me after I was hurt and I shot him down. I just wasn't in a place where I could trust in his words of love back then. Now he's stepping up again and so am I.....I'm dumping Lynch."

"You sure Morgan is stepping up?"

"I'm sure, JJ. He wants everything I want. Without him I'd be a wreck right now. I love him more than ever and I won't push him away out of fear. Not this time."

JJ nodded. She had been putting Henry's shoes on as they talked. She asked her son "Ready to go, big boy?"

He nodded and smiled, reaching for Penelope. She took him in her arms and started talking to him about how cute he was and how smart and how brave.

They all headed downstairs for dinner.

XXXXXXXXXX

The only member of the team to not show up for dinner was Hotch. He had taken Jack to spend the day with Haley's sister. Not able to stand staying there himself, around Haley's family who all loved him but who he felt ashamed to even look at, he went for a long drive to think.

Meanwhile at JJ's house Emily got drunk on wine. Reid offered to give her a ride home and said he would stay the night on her couch, then wake up early and go to his place to get dressed for the funeral. He would swing back and bring Emily with him because her car was going to be stuck at JJ's for the night.

Derek walked Reid and Emily out. Emily was very quiet and shut down. She got in the car and rested her head against the cool glass of the window.

Derek patted Reid's shoulder. "Take care of her, Kid."

"What if I don't know how? What if she needs more than I know how to do for her?"

"You know a lot more than you think. Follow your instincts. She just needs someone to stick by her side."

Reid nodded, solemnly, walked around the car, a hybrid, and got inside.

Derek hung outside JJ's for a while, even though it was cold out, and called his Mom to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. His tone was subdued. He assured her that he was doing fine and getting through everything, which he had already e-mailed her about, as well as he could. He also told her that Penelope was helping him and that made all the difference.

Fran told him "You'll come home for Christmas and no arguments about it. If you have to work then just come for whatever time you can around the holidays. I need to see my baby boy."

"I'll make it home as soon as I can, Ma. But with Hotch out of the office work is going to be crazy for a while."

"Don't let yourself get run down, you hear me?"

"Garcia wouldn't dare let that happen."

"Then its good that you're leaning on her right now. You know you haven't said much about her in over a year now. What's changed?"

"The last year was a bad one. I was dealing with stuff in my own head and I didn't think I could turn to her. Now I can."

"You know I never saw my boy happier than that first year when she came into your life. Its been a while since then but she's still the same woman, right? Or has too much gone down for you to let her make you that happy again?"

"A lot did go down, Ma, but you're right. She's still my baby girl."


	6. Chapter 6

**Epilogue**

Penelope and Derek ended up spending four days in Chicago at the very end of the year. It was his chance to show her off to his family and for them to see the love between him and her.

They stayed with his mother. The lust between them was now at a fevered pitch. They had decided to hold off on sex until they could both get out of their relationships- though what he had with Tamara wasn't exclusive or romantic it was still a tie that had to be cut.

Then work got busy and that kept them separated until right before Christmas. They spent the holidays at the Hotchner's house. The day before was spent on a mad shopping spree for Jack and Henry plus wrapping the presents they bought online. The day after was spent napping in bed and watching movies because they were exhausted from the cooking, tree cutting and decorating and spending long hours hanging out with their family.

The holiday had a quiet sadness to it but everyone pushed to smile and laugh as much as possible.

A case came up a few days after Christmas that kept them busy until it was time to rush to the airport to head to Chicago. Now Derek and Penelope were back in Virginia, had picked his dog up at the kennel and were standing at Derek's front door.

He slipped the key in the lock and looked at her. "Home sweet home, baby girl. God, I thought we'd never get alone together again. I was ready to head back here after just a day in Chi-town but my mom would have kicked my ass if I-"

Penelope gave him a tongue tangling kiss. Right before their lips met she muttered "Shut up, Hot Stuff, and give me a good night."

He got the door open, as his lips were still on hers, and Clooney ran inside. Derek pulled Penelope in, closed the door and started to get her coat off her. She slipped him out of his.

Everything went fast, like an out of control wild fire, just the way it would have been if it was six years before in early 2004 when she came walking into his world. Except now he knew how much he loved her and how he could never let her go again.

He carried her upstairs. Most of their clothes were laying strewn near the front door. She was nipping at his ear and begging to be fucked out of her mind as hard and fast as he could manage. Getting him completely insane with her words, like she always did.

Derek lay her on the bed, chucked out of his pants and underwear, and then came down onto the bed with her, taking her mouth in another kiss. He spent time kissing her neck and then sucking her breasts. Her body was still throbbing from the first orgasm he gave her by thrusting his fingers in her when they were downstairs. Her legs shook and she was sure she couldn't even walk right now if she tried.

Penelope begged him to take her. Derek grinned and captured her lips in one more desperate kiss before he thrust into her.

XXXXXXXXXX

Penelope, Emily and JJ went to visit Haley's grave during March. They brought flowers to put on it. All three were going through changes in their hearts that year. For Penelope it was all about coming home to the man God made just for her.

For JJ it was more complicated. It was about the pull between being safe and being known. She loved Will but there were parts of her that he would simply never touch. She wouldn't let him in that deep. Sooner or later something would give- one way or the other. She would either let down her last wall and make him her husband so they could share a beautiful life together, the life he had always been begging to give her and patiently waiting for her to take. Or else she would push him away, maybe for the best, and end up with a man who knew her better than Will ever could. Because she let that man know her.

For Emily it was even more complicated. She was used to taking care of herself and not allowing anyone to nurture her. Now she found herself in the position of having a man willing to be there when she was falling to pieces who didn't ask for anything back. It was scary and exhilarating all at once. Her fears and doubts told her that it would never work out between them and yet she was becoming more and more dependent on him everyday.

It wasn't the way she ever imagined this working out. She kept her mouth shut about it at work and faked a smile for everyone. But she sometimes caught him giving her a certain look that said he suspected she was going through more than she let on and that she didn't have to go through it alone.

Penelope spoke to Haley's grave. "We miss you, friend. I know you hear me talking to you all the time but since I'm here I just wanted to officially thank you for getting through my hard head. You used your last words to speak to Hotch about love and family. That made me see that nothing else matters but being with the one you need most on this earth. I'm with him now, like you know, and you helped us to get past ourselves and get together. Thank you, angel girl. We're looking out for your boys. You keep looking out for all of us too."

JJ put her arm around Penelope's waist and laid her head against her, in a comforting gesture. Emily was a few feet away but Penelope touched her arm and brought her close to them for a group hug.

XXXXXXXXX

Two months later it was time for the BAU's yearly two weeks of vacation. Derek and Penelope had spoken at length about where they wanted to go and decided to see some of Europe by taking a train trip through Italy and France.

They made memories that they would add to the years worth of memories they already had, making their history together richer still. On the last night of the trip they ended up standing near the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

Derek took her hand and kissed it. Looking deep in her eyes he said "Stay with me tonight. I need to know you're okay. I need to hold you."

She grinned. "I'm with you every night, baby."

He pulled a ring box out of his pocket and opened it. "Stay with me forever, baby girl. I need to know you're mine. That my solace won't ever be separated from me again."

She gasped and tears filled her eyes. "Derek? Are you sure?" her voice shook. "I don't need a ring to know you love me. I can wait....just like you waited for me."

"Baby girl, why would I want to make you wait longer? I'm all in. I love you, sweetness. You're my light and my strength and my courage. Hey....silly girl....marry me."

She nodded happily and he swept her off her feet, spinning her around, and then found her lips to kiss.

"I'll show you a good life, Hot Stuff."

"I know you will, princess."

(_And won't you kiss me on that midnight street._

_Sweep me off my feet._

_-_

_Singing "Ain't life so sweet?"_

_-_

_This year's love had better last._

_This year's love had better last._

_This year's love had better last._

_-_

_Whoa, ohhhhh._

_-_

_This year's love had better last.) (David Gray)_

**THE END**


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